Moving x5

Over the past three years I have lived in four different apartments. At noon on Sunday I will be adding a fifth residence to this list. While at the time of lease signing/first seeing this apartment (OMG IT IS SO CUTE. THE ONE!1!!) it seemed like a normal, good decision, I really do not feel that way right now.

Let me break my neurotic, crazy brain down for you. The season of Fall makes me drunk and/or like an innocent child with her heart and mind open to everything. This is stupid. I am stupid. During my last three month binge on life,  I was idiot and signed a new lease. I was not thinking about how I would be eating white rice at 11:22 PM too cure my upset stomach the night before move-out because A. I ate too many of my old oxycodons (sleeping is so hard) and B. I have anxiety streaming out of my every pore. These were not factors. My thoughts were the following:

1. OMGOD. I can paint the walls. I am going to paint murals of my cats and cats that I wish I owned and cats that only I can see because they are imaginary and/or paint a wall gold.

2. I like that kitchen. Yup. Prime lasagna making location.

3. It will be nice to move. A fresh start, ya know?!

4. Bars everywhere. I want to be drunk on alcohol AND life all at the same time!

5. $$$ saved so I can spend it at bars mentioned above.

Each of these is a VERY POOR reason to move. Number 2 might be sort of legitimate because that is really important to me, and the oven I currently am working with could probably not even fit my lasagna pan. But, still. If I could trade this very moment and all the moments from now until Sunday night in exchange for either A. not moving at all or B. someone(s) doing it for me, I would do that.

Moral of this post: Come help me move tomorrow and I will buy you alcohol and/or anything from the black market.

xo - MS, oak

The One that Got Away

     A year doesn't go by without some shitty "Rom-Com" being released that features the same classic, somewhat cliche key point. A wise voice of reason tells one of the two lovers their story about "the one that got away." This story, that has received little to no revisions since the fucking Elizabethan era, serves as a window into the wise one's soul. They take a moment to ignore their cancer or bullet wound or whatever makes them a tragic character to impart some serious plot-changing wisdom.

"Yur n0t gettin away. Lolz."

      As hard as it is for us idiot moviegoers to believe (according to the film industry), these now "ugly" (old), "clueless" (old) and "lifeless" (dying due to old age) characters once had a moment in which they met their soul mate. Unfortunately for their sorry, old asses, something along the lines of war, segregation or being beaten by another contender got in the way of true love. This, for some reason, gives these characters the right to pass along the lesson (which they fucked up themselves) to one of the movie's star-lovers; don't let them get away!

     We've all seen these movies, and we all know that he/she doesn't get away. They're caught, and before the buzz-killing, real stuff can kick-in, the movie cuts-out. That's probably why our generation sees love in the way that we do; once obtained, nothing in life is ever, ever difficult again. Most of us are inspired to keep our eyes open and our traps set; we can't let our soul mate get away. I, however, look at it in a different way than most.

      A bitter taste can settle in my mouth when I think about high school. The predominant reason for that is my pathetic love life. As a gay man, who has been out since eighth grade, I didn't have as many options. I graduated with not one sexual experience, or even kiss under my belt. Rather than take the high road and consider what I could have done differently, I took advice from all-star fag-hag Grace Adler and blamed those around me.

God.

     Despite the fact that I look back on high school with a little sadness, I won't look at it with regret...well, about my love life at least. The point is, I'm not going to re-think every thing I could have done just to get myself laid. What I will do instead is think of myself as someone else's "one that got away." I'm going to tell myself that I turned heads and that I was the last thing various boys thought of before they fell asleep. Fuck 'em. I'm the catch that wasn't caught.

Self-Portrait

 _GaDing

In the Depths of Photobucket

I cannot say what triggered the thought that it would be fun to looked through my old Photobucket account, but what's done is done. I did it. I about 82.3% regret it - approximately. Some of the pictures were inappropriate in content and/or ugly. They've been deleted, and I feel little better about myself. Amongst these gross finds, I also discovered there were three main themes of my pictures. So, uh, here they are...

1. I was so vain in high school - because I was pretty hot then.

If you need proof, let's just say I have a lot of it. There is an album titled 'All About Me' under this account, and let me tell you... 357 pictures later I was convinced - Self, you got less hot, but good job being super fine 5-6 years ago!!11! However, my least favorite part of this account actually has to be either the number of 'selfies' or how unbelievable thin I was back then. Dear old self, why did you have an album called 'thinspiration'?! Did you not have mirrors or scales?! New self is not understanding what your crazy mind was thinking. Anyhow, here is proof I was a hot fake ginger/brunette with lots of bones/eye make-up.

Then:

 

(H0+ cr@zy b!+ch.)

Now:

(your average blonde dud hangin' with her best)

Sub-theme to being a hot 15-year-old: I had approximately six different hair colors. I mostly just want to include the picture of me with purple hair. It was not attractive, but I had a heart attack/anxiety attack/laugh attack when it crossed my path. So, you should probably enjoy it too. HERE YA GO.

(freakin' LOL!1!!1)

2. My high school friends were @lt3rn@t!v3 and/or 3m0. Srsly.

No offense to any of my high school homies because honestly... I was no prize either. See: weird 'thinspiration' album. For the record, when I say 'emo', I mean music taste and 'style', which was cool back then. Myspace said so, sort of. Being alternative/emo in my hometown meant the following things:

- eyeliner (gender was not a factor)

- r0cl< shows at Bora Bora Dance Club

- hoodies/white belts (preferably with studs) from HotTopic

- taking a lot of 'selfies' to post on Myspace

- checker slip-on Vans

- multiple hair colors

- drinking/smoking/drugs
-not related: care about being 2004 state champs!11!!1!

- probably more shows at Bora Bora Dance Club

If you did not do/have/desire at least three of these things you were probably an average joe, which means we were not friends and I have no pictures of you under my Photobucket account. SORRZ. You had to look like this to qualify:

AND/OR THIS:

3. I loved my high school boyfriend.

This theme I feel awkward about writing about, but I am just being honest, OKAY?! I did. In a lot of ways, he is still probably one of the best friends I remember having. He was perfect for me at the time, and I don't really have any regrets from that relationship. Actually, if I have any feelings after looking at these old pictures, well, they'd probably be gratefulness and pride. I definitely felt that way at the time (see: nearly 1,000 pictures in 'princess' album and super fucking long relationship). Anyhow, big high fives to you, Jake! You own'd my Photobucket account. Here are a few of the gems (hope you don't mind):

ALRIGHT. So, you're lucky. I didn't post anything too embarrassing for anyone other than myself. If you disagree, SORRZ 'BOUT IT.


xo, MS - oak

You Oughta Know

Oh, to be 7 again.

             It’s difficult to pinpoint the time in a person’s life at which they lock into their own, individual taste in music. We all grow up with constant influences, the strongest of which come from parents, older siblings and what’s on television. In my earliest memorable years of education and, well, life, I can recall listening to Phish and Bob Marley in my dad’s car, eves dropping on my brothers quarrel over who gets to carry Blink-182’s Enema of the State that day and, with the rest of the world, watching Britney Spears shake it in her first music video.

            By the time I was entering 4^th grade, the only concert I had seen was the Blue Man Group. Dope, right? It was around the same time that I had inherited (stole) a very, very unattractive CD-player from someone else in my house. I didn’t have a logical reason to snatch it from its dormant place, seeing as I didn’t own any CD’s, but that changed quickly. After hiding my new, prized possession under my pillow, I made my way to my mother’s car, discreetly of course. I flipped through the few CD’s she had, unfazed by most, until I came across Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill. Being eight, or whatever, I safely assumed that said pill was a Flintstones' vitamin. I knew the album though, hearing it often in my mother’s car, and knew that I liked it.

Relatable.

           

                A 4^th grade boy listening to “You Oughta Know” on repeat, to and from school, may seem strange, but it also may provide an answer to why I am the way I am. An avid believer in nurture over nature, it only makes sense that I turned out the way I did. Whether or not I was born gay, my perception of men was heavily influenced by this song. I don’t trust them. I partially hate them. The disdain directed towards them, however, comes from jealousy and loneliness. I really have so much love for them. Time went on and Alanis was reduced from a “need to click repeat” artist to an “I used to love this song” artist, but the memory has stayed clear. There once was a time when I couldn’t decipher the meanings of these lyrics, or even recite them, but they spoke nothing but true to me and, as Alanis says, “I thought you should know.”

_GaDing

Fantastic Things about Autumn

Maybe it is the heat, the obnoxious bright sun, the monotony of my work schedule, or some combination of all of these things, but I want/need depleting levels of green, about a 20 degrees drop in the temperature, and some academic-related chaos. It is my belief that with the large exception of my dad, the elderly, and people who have not experienced Autumn/Fall before, everyone really loves this upcoming time of the year. At least, this is the rumor I've been hearing.

I've always felt there was something really intense and rude about the extremes of both summer and winter. In the case of summer, the heat and brightness has always been really offensive to me physically. In fact, being an actual poor college student, it is nearly unbearable. Obviously it is survivable because it is now August and I have lived through two heat waves without air conditioning. (Also, in one 24 hour period, I even lived with limited quantities of water. Thanks, City of Madison!). And, Winter is not much different here. The most important (read: obvious) difference is instead of being impossibly hot and humid, it is just cold and dry for about five straight months. Still bright during winter. Sensitive eyes are not in favor of this!

And, I think this is why Autumn/Fall (and Spring, I guess) ends up being so perfect! It is a healthy medium in temperature, but it also happens to be associated with a lot of my favorite things. I hope you want to hear about them because leggo!

1. Weather.

As previously mentioned, winter and summer are not favorable to my body, especially my eyes. But seriously, my whole body hates both. Too bright. Too hot/too cold. Autumn in Wisconsin usually only lasts for about two months, but it is two months of perfect weather. There is the occasional cool breeze and even with the sun out, it will almost never get past 70 degrees. Also, rain. Let us just take a moment to think about rain because it deserves that sort of respect. Now let me tell you something fantastic about rainy weather. There are obviously so many wonderful things about it but my favorite thing is that it is not snow. Can we all just appreciate that?

2. Clothing.

This is somewhat related to weather because it really relies on outside conditions. While pretty much everyone who knows me, including my parents unfortunately, are well-aware of my dislike of pants, I can certainly tolerate them if it means I am able to wear about 80% of my wardrobe. One of the best things about this time of the year is how flexible I can be with my outfits. In summertime, it is too hot to wear anything other than shorts/skirts, tanktops, or the occasional t-shirt. In winter, it is too cold to not have pants or thick tights on at all times. In Autumn/Fall, however, I get to mix and match pieces from these seasons, which is essentially giving me more bang for my buck. Lame phrase? I'll never use it again. Promise.

3. Music/Movies.

This seems to be a less obvious thing to associate with Autumn/Fall, but I always do, especially the movies part. There are a few reasons it is a smart to schedule a release date during this time of the year. Reason #1: You will make the cut for the upcoming award shows. Better yet, by the time the Academy Awards roll around no one is going to remember the 'Blockbuster' from April because everyone is excited about the one just released in November. BAM. Good job! Reason #2: People like going to movies with their families. While Christmas/Hanukkah are Winter holidays, Thanksgiving is property of the perfect season. Better yet, there is less to do in celebrating Thanksgiving. It is essentially one day, and then you are stuck with each other Friday - Sunday. It seems Hollywood figured this out and usually will have a few gems released right around this time.

Music I honestly love year-round, but I have found a lot of my favorite artists usually tour at the end of summer or very beginning of Fall/Autumn. By the time they reach anywhere near Wisconsin it is usually October or November. Thanks, bands I like! This is clearly not a coincidence or anything!

4. Food

While technically Winter allows me to make all of these things without dying in a boiling hot kitchen, I choose to attribute all of my favorite foods to my favorite time of year because I make them non-stop out of excitement. For the two to three months prior, I am living off cold fruits, sandwiches and sometimes steamed vegetables. So when it starts to be cool enough for me to make beef stew, you better believe it is a weekly event. I'd make this particular dish daily if I had the time, but alas I have a life! Other meals I love that summer prevents me from enjoying: tuna casserole, spaghetti, homemade chicken noodle soup, spinach lasagna, and just about baked anything.

So, I mean, I guess my point is that there are some really fantastic things associated with Fall/Autumn - most of which are due to the mild, kind weather conditions. Big high fives for the best sixty days of the year! You done momma proud.

xo - MS, oak

How Movies Ruined High School

I was born in 1992. My parents were loving, but I remember spending more time with my teenage babysitter, Jackie. Put these two facts together, and it should be easy to assume that a fair amount of my childhood weekends were filled with trips to Blockbuster and visits from Pizza Hut. I welcomed the greasy, sinful heart failure delivered in the form of a PZone and sat happily watching films like 10 Things I Hate About You and She’s All That.

It's no wonder I turned out gay.

Kids of my generation should share my bitterness with the movie industry. How were we supposed to know that high school parties aren’t really like the one that we saw in Can’t Hardly Wait? Was it too much to ask if we could share the hallways with the pseudo-intellectuals from Clueless? Why couldn’t we all have fallen in love with our neighbors/classmates like those definitely-not-eighteen-year-olds from Whatever it Takes or Drive Me Crazy? There isn’t a way to show how sad it makes me to say that there are no answers to these questions. We were lied to.

I like to think of myself as an adaptable person. You could compare me to a chameleon, if you’d like. As a matter of fact, do that. Why not just think of a non-athletic 18-year-old’s body and swap the human head with a chameleon’s head. There. That’s me. “He’s an adaptable freak,” you may say, but that would not be the case for my experience with high school.  The main problem is that my adaptability is conflicted by the occasional surprise visit from stubbornness. So now this chameleon-headed freak is pitted against a menstrual donkey. I wanted to “Macarena,” but was told to “Crank Dat.” I was expecting "Genie In a Bottle," but was given "Disturbia." The donkey stomped Chameleon Boy into a pulp. I was heartbroken, and I couldn’t adapt through the despair. I was anticipating what had been hammered into my head by those asshole producers, but was unfortunately given what a new batch of asshole producers had to offer: Channing Tatum and Ke$ha. Woe is me.

_GaDing

Playlist: End of Summer

It seems sort of weird to declare this my 'End of Summer' playlist when it is not even August quite yet. However, the next two weeks will be consumed with studying, good-byes, packing, and moving that I am not sure I will find anything else to add. Besides, the majority of these songs were my favorites over the past three months. Also, CD already burned. So there... and here:

 1. When Your Love is Safe - Active Child
I feel sort of lame for having three Active Child songs on a MIXED CD, but Pat Grossi has the voice of an angel. Also, these songs are all really great. 'When Your Love is Safe' is from his Curtis Lane EP, and possibly my favorite of track off that record.

2. Playing House - Active Child

This is easily my favorite track released by Grossi. Like, ever. It is unfortunate for tracks 3 - 20 on my playlist because when I hear it sometimes I set it to repeat.

3. Hanging On - Active Child
A single from You Are All I See, 'Hanging On' is what it is. (Hint: beautiful.) I just want to listen to it and count how many times he hits some awesome falsetto that makes me want to cry. Side note: I'm, like, a million ounces of emotional. Some music just does this to me.

4. Lose It - Austra
I cannot say I am giant fan of this music video, but I can honestly say this woman's voice is out of control. This track made the cut because A. I like to sing along and pretend I sing well and B. the title represents how I feel 98% of the time. Or, maybe always.

5. Paranoia in B-flat Major - Avett Brothers
I just need a minute to squeal like a little girl. BRB. K. I just bought tickets to see this babes at the Riverside Theater this November, and I am still giddy/high on this purchase. I usually try to include at least one of their tracks on any Spring and/or Summer playlist because they make me want sunshine, barn dancing, and more sunshine. Listen and enjoy.

6. Hinnom, TX - Bon Iver
Okay so everybody and their mom has been telling me 'Holocene' is the best track off of Bon Iver's self-titled album, but I disagree. I disagree so hard, in fact, that it has yet to make it onto any playlist because I am just still too intoxicated by 'Hinnom, TX'. It is just like the perfect song, in my not-so-humble opinion. I will listen all season, all times of day, always, forever, always. Can't stop.

7. Too Much Soul - Chiddy Bang
So, like most people, I have a weakness. Actually I have multiple weaknesses so let's just put them out there now - rap music (usually Drake and/or Nicki Minaj, see #9), cats, and Harry Potter. In the case of my #7 track, it is rap. This song just makes me feel powerful and energized. I cannot explain it, but it happens. Like, magic - Imperius Cursed by music. (HP!~!!).

8. Go Outside - the Cults
Not even talking about this one. Just listen to it. You need it in your life... er'yday.

9. Dreams Money Can Buy - Drake
God, Drake could make a legitimate cartoon for preschoolers and I would be the #1 fan of it. Canadian SWAG. I am not even sure I am allowed to use the word 'swag' but I did it~!!~! This track is not going to be on his highly anticipated studio album Take Care but it is still fantastic. And, if anything, it makes me really anxious to see what he has up his sleeve. Also note, "don't fuck with me, don't fuck with me". Okay, I won't. (wink!!1!1!)

10. Winds of Change - Fitz & the Tantrums

This is my least favorite track on my playlist (if I am allowed to have one of those). I like the song, but the band itself I am bittersweet on. Definitely one of those groups where I think all their songs sound the same and all their music has been 'done before'. Is that pretentious because I totally didn't mean for it to be?! IT IS WHAT IT IS, I GUESS. 

11. Montezuma - Fleet Foxes
Things I love about Fleet Foxes: all of their tracks, beards times a thousand, sweet/kind vocals, the feeling of autumn and/or winter when I listen to them, and these goddamn lyrics. Note how I said a million years ago in this post that I am emotional... well, this song for sure. See:

 Oh how could I dream of such a selfless and true love?/Could I wash my hands of just looking out for me?/Oh man what I used to be/Oh man oh my oh me.

Too close to home, Fleet Foxes. In a good way.

12. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People
Just listen to this and get on everyone else's level. It is basically like HIPSTERSUMMER2011 anthem. Where have you been?

13. Before the Bridge - Future Islands
Uh, if we are Facebook friends, you may have noticed I posted this video and/or lyrics from the song about four times already. This band, in general, holds a really intense spot in my heart. I hate to say it but it is related to my ex. While there were a lot of sour feelings toward him for, uh, a long time... I am not a resentful or angry person. Friendship is friendship and this song along with all of Future Island's others remind me of the one I had with him. This track was released as a single, but their upcoming album On the Water will be released October 11.

14. Eyes Wide (Fool's Gold Remix) - Local Natives
Remixes are usually good. See: most/any rap or hip-hop song ever such as Ignition by R. Kelly. This one is excellent because it has been my dancing-in-my-underwear-don't-you-judge-me-cats dance jam for the past couple of months. I downloaded it from RCRDLBL, and you should maybe do the same.

15. Hello - Martin Solveig & Dragonette
Underwear dance jam #2! I am not really familiar with the artists behind the song, but the song just came into my life. Just makes me so dancey. You'll appreciate. Also: video includes tennis. Who hates tennis? Not I.

16. I L U (Phantogram Remix) - School of Seven Bells
I picked this gem up over at RCRDLBL too. I really love both School of Seven Bells and Phantogram. I started listening to both artists Fall of last year, so this song just gives me a double dose of excitement about this coming autumn. Also, vocals are super beautiful always and forever.

17. Canada - Themselves ft. WHY?
Remember when I listed off my weaknesses? Well, I forgot one. It might be the most important one even... so now I just feel like an a$$h0l3! WHY?/Yoni Wolf/anything having to do with any of these pronouns make me more happy than anything or anyone ever. I love WHY? (Not a question, but just the band name. I real-life love.) This song, however, recently came into my life because I am a terrible fan, I guess. It gives me the same feeling 'Well Water Black' by Alias ft. Yoni Wolf did just two years ago. Awesome, perfect, makes me want to drive around in my grandma Honda Accord.

18. My Country - tUnE-yArDs
Two tUnE-yArDs songs because Merrill is a goddess. A weird, probably autistic, genius goddess. If you cannot jam to a song about AMERICA then you are not allowed to jam to anything ever. ILY, AMERICA y Merrill.

19. Gangsta - tUnE-yArDs
Off their latest album, W H O K I L L, this track has to be my favorite. Right after the awesome track about AMERICA (!~!!!11!) is over on this playlist, I know to immediately turn up the volume because I am not sure (read: know for sure) this isn't a song meant to be heard on low volume. SIDE NOTE: someone go to this concert with me!

20. Murmurer - WHY?
I feel like my want/desire to win one of WHY?'s golden tickets is something I could write an entire post on. Actually: note to self, do that. This song is dedicated to Cooper Conley-Currier. Luckiest of all bastards. I spent a regrettable amount of time actually researching this guy, and he made some strange movie about his break-up with his hot ex-girlfriend. I refuse to feel bad for him though because WHY? made a song about his life/OkCupid profile/weird break-up video.

Hopefully one of these songs, videos, or descriptions motivated you to download some new tracks. I suggest all of them, but what do I know really?

xo - MS, oak

I highly recommend...

"At least his father hadn't lived his life by aversion, hadn't moved always away from what he didn't want, the old hybridizer not afraid to go toward things, to hope for things, to dream of things. At least his father's life had been pulled by sunlight, relieved by rain, urged by roots and leaves. Each daffodil, each tulip, every pane of glass in the greenhouse such a matter of life or death to the old hybridizer. At least his father cared about things and kept caring about them, the man caring so much that he didn't care if anyone else cared, which seemed to make people care, students and tourists and garden societies from the valley practically swooning their way up the hill to the greenhouses and gardens and gift shop, that jangle of bells on the door always ringing. At least the old man and his wife hadn't spent their days just hoping to feel, hadn't kept wishing their lives would just begin, hadn't wasted their nights just yearning to yearn for something."

"The Architect of Flowers Stories" The Architect of Flowers Stories 
William Lychack 

knockout

Imma put the KAY-LEE in this shit.

I feel a great amount of pressure to be witty and have something important to write about in this blog because let's be honest, no one wants to be the boring one of the three. The one that people just skim over and say 'yeah that girl,  all she writes about boys and love and mushy stuff'. Well see here my fair weathered friends, I will talk about boys and love and mushy stuff and I know that at least Molly Streicher will read it. Of course, I will write about other things but really nothing of substance. Since my life is obviously a philosophical rollercoaster, I will not be touching on any of that shiiit. Anyways enough about me, lets get to it!

First topic: Look over there! It's a six year old without a soul!

This is really all that is going on in my life recently: feeding, bathing, dressing and playing with a six year old little girl. Don't get me wrong, she's cute, funny and let's me dress her like my own personal doll every morning, but there's something strange about this situation. Her last nanny was an old bag that didn't do anything but feed and dress her, which after awhile I feel like she started to create this prejudice against nannys across the world. Well, then nanny Kaley came in and meant business. I don't know if anyone ever really plays with this kid or what but by the third week she was calling me 'momma'. This is where it get's a little too much.

I'm thinking that when that first 'momma' was blurted out at the check-out line in Sendiks was when it happened. And by 'it', I mean the odd bond that was formed between nanny and child. I didn't appreciate her calling me 'momma' because by no means do I want a child, or a six year old for that matter, but I felt like she saw me as that mother figure in her life and for that I felt closer to her and awkward all at the same time. From that day on she called me 'momma' at least once everyday. The day it became too much was when she said it in front of her actual mother. Talk about awkward. But she kept on and even though I scold her every time she calls me 'momma', she still does it and giggles. This is where she goes soul-less.

"Miss Kaley, when you leave, I don't think I'm going to miss you" -- Stab to the heart.

KnockOut.

Post-Grad Life

With two semesters of classes and a semester of student teaching left to complete, post-grad life has progressed more frequently into my thoughts. I am the type of person who has a plan. Always. As much as living in the moment seems like a more relaxing and enjoyable way to be, there is just too much at risk to live like that, especially at such an important part of my life. Within the next year and a half I will be a certified educator, which is like, you know, a huge fucking deal. This is going to make me be a real adult - the kind that wakes up five days a week at an hour I cannot believe exists unless intoxicated from the prior night and works a full day. Lather, rinse, repeat for forever/until retirement.

While the big stuff everyone seems to be nervous about (i.e. 'finding a job/career' or 'the end of an era') is actually really frightening, the lifestyle immediately after graduation worries me too. This past May I had a large number of friends and some aquaintances graduate with degrees in a whole bunch of things - mostly graphic design. Some of them are going to graduate school, but a lot of them are not venturing down that lane quite yet. Watching these people think about their future/have intense panic attacks that usually revolve around the question 'HOLY FUCK, NOW WHAT?!' has been a rough but also rewarding experience. Rewarding because I have taken their experiences into consideration as I put together a list of things I do not want to happen in my post-grad life.

1. This one may be obvious if you read everything up until now, but not having a plan is not an option. If I am walking Winter 2012, I will know what step #2 is by Fall 2012. Even if my plan ends up being substitute teaching and working at Starbucks after graduation, I will have a plan. Over the past summer a number of friends have had no idea where they were going to graduate school, working, or even living. I am not sure how you get to a place of that much chaos, but I refuse to be there. (My actual guess is 'living in the moment' gets you there. Suckas!)

2. I will not stay in my college town. Madison is really a great place to live for school, but I cannot see myself living here forever. Four years is definitely going to be enough, but remaining for any longer than that would be a mistake. I've noticed those who stay past graduation find jobs rather than careers, but more importantly, they just seem like ghosts. Totally out of their element. When I go out with my friends sometimes I will see a 30-something year old sitting at a table of middle 20-something year olds. It really bums me out because while I know there is a chance this person was offered a great opportunity here, I also feel there is equally as much of a chance that this person just could not let go. I mean, I get it. I even sort of went through it. But, chances are that it really is time to explore life elsewhere.

3. I will not get mixed up in guy-related drama. OMGOD. If I were to rank all of these things this would be number one on the list. Without ever meaning to this crap always seems to sneak up. I understand that sometimes it is just really unavoidable, but Jesus... I really refuse it. I am definitely too sensitive, tired, and uninterested. In fact, new plan of things to do post-grad: find my inner lesbian. It is in there somewhere. Hunt begins now.

4. I will not turn into a hipster to pass the time. I don't know if I need to really explain this any further. It is a serious problem though, and I am not interested in it applying to my life.

You know, I am really certain there are a lot of other things I do not want to happy post-grad (i.e. off the top of my head, get run over by a Madison metro bus (too soon?)) but I think this is a pretty stable list for now. It basically prevents me from getting sucked into the past and into drama, which are two things I want to avoid the most. Also, the more I think about it... the bus thing is something I really want to avoid too.



xo - MS, oak

Where To Start.

It is really strange. I have started this entry probably four times in writing and a hundred times in my head, but nothing seems to really demonstrate exactly how anxious I am to be writing again. This project (at least, I think it is sort of a project... maybe?) is something I have been thinking about since my friend, Emma introduced me to ThoughtCatalog many months ago. (Shout out to you, my celiac homie!) Since its introduction into my life, I have seen my hipster and just funny people acquaintances fall in love with the articles, which is just really great because OMGOD, some of them just so incredibly honest and right.

Before ThoughtCatalog was in my life, I was always having these really intense tangents in my head about things like 'what I would do for a Klondike Bar' or 'reasons why mamihlapinatapai is awesome as a word and in definition'. But, in all honesty, if you are with a friend and out of the blue start saying how you would consider sacrificing your favorite cat or provoke an ostrich to fight just for a Klondike bar, things are going to get super weird between you and that other person because lets face it... you are probably really weird. These are not normal thoughts, but recently, from my ThoughtCatalog experiences I have a new hunch that we all think about things in a really strange, socially unacceptable way. If you say I am not right about this and am just a weird person who scored a 25 on my AQ test, you are half right. I may have done the latter. However, I don't think I am so weird anymore. I feel like this is greatly due to Ryan O'Connell, who is probably my favorite writer from TC/an exceptionally relatable human.

So with that, I introduce to you Of Another Kind - a blog featuring thoughts, critiques, and tangents on things from life, the media, and the chaotic mess in my brain. You will find posts not only from myself but two friends/contributors - who are equally as peculiar and interesting (if not more so than myself).

The first is Kaley. She is someone who was smart enough to leave this small college after a year rather than remaining for the full four years like myself. We met my freshman year (cLaSs of 2012!~*) and clicked thanks to Vampire Weekend, having strong disinterests in frat boys, and Pius High School connections. Funny because I was dating a frat bro when we met... maybe Kaley can explain how that worked.

Second to join the team? squad? whatever this really is... was my friend, Nick. Now, let me tell you about Nick... this guy has so many fantastic qualities, which was really no surprise to me as I met him through my best friend, Anna. He is one of four boys to two of the best real-life adults I know, and definitely my favorite of the sons. (Close second: Sandy. Just saying, Nick.) I am really anticipating some great stuff from Nick because not only is he moving to Switzerland for college (srsly.) but when I requested he be himself, which is funny, honest, and really intelligent when writing he responded, "Hopefully I can write funny. If not, I'll do the smart thing and rest on being gay." I clearly have no worries.



And with that, I hope you continue to read and feel comfortable commenting. Nothing would make this trio more happy than some feedback or suggestions.

xo- MS, oak