The One that Got Away

     A year doesn't go by without some shitty "Rom-Com" being released that features the same classic, somewhat cliche key point. A wise voice of reason tells one of the two lovers their story about "the one that got away." This story, that has received little to no revisions since the fucking Elizabethan era, serves as a window into the wise one's soul. They take a moment to ignore their cancer or bullet wound or whatever makes them a tragic character to impart some serious plot-changing wisdom.

"Yur n0t gettin away. Lolz."

      As hard as it is for us idiot moviegoers to believe (according to the film industry), these now "ugly" (old), "clueless" (old) and "lifeless" (dying due to old age) characters once had a moment in which they met their soul mate. Unfortunately for their sorry, old asses, something along the lines of war, segregation or being beaten by another contender got in the way of true love. This, for some reason, gives these characters the right to pass along the lesson (which they fucked up themselves) to one of the movie's star-lovers; don't let them get away!

     We've all seen these movies, and we all know that he/she doesn't get away. They're caught, and before the buzz-killing, real stuff can kick-in, the movie cuts-out. That's probably why our generation sees love in the way that we do; once obtained, nothing in life is ever, ever difficult again. Most of us are inspired to keep our eyes open and our traps set; we can't let our soul mate get away. I, however, look at it in a different way than most.

      A bitter taste can settle in my mouth when I think about high school. The predominant reason for that is my pathetic love life. As a gay man, who has been out since eighth grade, I didn't have as many options. I graduated with not one sexual experience, or even kiss under my belt. Rather than take the high road and consider what I could have done differently, I took advice from all-star fag-hag Grace Adler and blamed those around me.

God.

     Despite the fact that I look back on high school with a little sadness, I won't look at it with regret...well, about my love life at least. The point is, I'm not going to re-think every thing I could have done just to get myself laid. What I will do instead is think of myself as someone else's "one that got away." I'm going to tell myself that I turned heads and that I was the last thing various boys thought of before they fell asleep. Fuck 'em. I'm the catch that wasn't caught.

Self-Portrait

 _GaDing